Shakespeare wrote, “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players; they have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts.” One of the greatest pleasures for me at this juncture in my professional career, is playing the part of a mentor.
At this moment, I am counseling a young millennial who is pursuing his dream of starting his own company. He is very bright, and I have no doubt that with time and experience, he will make a great CEO, but more importantly, he sought me out to be a mentor for him, and THAT is very rare these days. Very few millennials are specifically looking for mentors; I’m not sure if they feel uncomfortable in asking for mentoring assistance, or maybe they’re not sure of the correct approach to take. I wonder if it isn’t more likely that most millennials think, “I’ve got this, I don’t need anyone to coach me.”
I believe that I have been very successful in my career as a software engineer, entrepreneur and business owner, but not because of my own initiative solely. I had help — lots of help. I can pinpoint my success to five individual mentors that steered me the right direction: two Johns, two Bobs, and a Don.
Don was Donald L. Peterson, my dad. He was a career educator and still probably the overall most educated man I’ve ever met. He was a great dad in every way possible, but for me, his greatest impact was when I was between 11 and 14 years old. I was a very hot-tempered youngster; it didn’t take much to get me yelling or hollering, lose my temper, or lose control over my behavior. It manifested at times when things didn’t turn out the way I expected. One day, I was at a baseball playoff game where I had a critical at bat and the game was on the line. I grounded out, and the game ended with our team losing. I got so mad, I threw down my equipment, ran to the right field fence, and just ran off, yelling and fussing. My dad’s response to all of this, was to calmly work with me on my temper. He punished me for my misbehavior, but in a calm way. He returned my aggression with calmness, and by the time I reached 14, his influence helped me get my temper under control. I can count the number of times I have really “lost it” since then on one hand.
The first John, was John Beck. I was 21 years old, with a full time job at Simmons Office Products in South Florida, as a purchasing agent, and was going to school at night to pursue a degree in programming. Simmons had an IBM System 34 — an early precursor to the AS400 — and it ran on a programming language called, “RPG II,” that I didn’t know. In fact, RPGII was not taught at all at the college where I was pursuing my Bachelors.
A consultant and programmer named John Beck was hired to come one day a week to work on making some changes to the software running the retail and wholesale business of Simmons. Within the first few weeks, John learned that I was a programming student and asked me if I wanted to learn RPGII. A new programming language is always an asset for a programmer! Each week, John would take time to show me how RPGII worked. Within a few months, I was working with him on changes to the live system. After six months, John was primarily reviewing my programming work, then working on what would get programmed in the coming week; it was like having a private tutor for a year. I learned more in that year with John than I did at ANY programming class I was taking at the university. With the RPGII knowledge I learned from John, I was able to get a job at Kirchman Corporation, a financial services firm in Orlando, and my career in banking technology was launched.
The first Bob, was Bob Chamberlain. Bob was a senior implementation specialist at Kirchman, and it was his job to oversee the software conversion of banks. His job included custom programming, which meant I was frequently working with him on specific bank implementations. Bob was about 10 years older than me, and for whatever reason, he took an interest in me. He would counsel me about how I spoke, how I acted, and how I dressed. Like a typical programming nerd, I wore corduroy pants and short sleeve shirts with pocket protectors. Bob encouraged me not to dress for the job I had, but for the job I wanted. He counseled me on the type of clothes to wear, and realizing that I had a natural ability for teaching and communication, encouraged me to get involved in teaching classes for Kirchman’s banks. Within a year and a half, I was in charge of all of Kirchman’s education for community banks. It was a completely different job from programming, but a big jump in company rank and salary.
The second John was more of an inspiration than a mentor, but he so affected my life that I include him as one of my five mentors. In the 80’s, there was a regular gathering at the Methodist Youth Camp of young professionals from churches all around Florida. A good friend of mine encouraged me to attend, and during one of those retreats, I heard a speaker by the name of John Riley. John was a lay speaker from Alabama, and he was encouraging us to live and walk a Christian life. More important than the message, was his method of delivery. He was homespun, down to earth, and so incredibly funny, that you just had to listen to him. He served up a powerful message, to which we paid close attention. I learned from John, that you can deliver a funny presentation with powerful content. There’s being funny just for the sake of laughs, or there’s a professorial dissertation that puts people to sleep; the former serves no long lasting purpose and the latter is a waste of great content. John, by way of example, showed me how to properly integrate strong content and appropriate humor. Timing and delivery are everything, and I have attempted to use this principle in every keynote, workshop, emcee or facilitation presentation I have delivered. Thanks to John, after 2,500 presentations, I think I may have it all figured out.
Last, but not least, is my second Bob. Bobby Wetherington. He was CEO of Commercial Banking Company, located in Hahira GA. I got to know him as a Kirchman customer at the training classes Kirchman offered. He was a banker, but also an innovative agra-businessman constantly innovating in his extensive farming operation. In 1989, I was co-owner of a FinTech company and traveling nearly every week. On one of these trips, I stopped off to visit Bobby at his home in Hahira, and told him that I was going to have to make a change, as I was faced with losing my wife and three kids due to not being around much. Bobby had the solution — come to work for him at the bank! He was building a new branch in the much larger city of Valdosta, and had an idea to create the most technologically advanced branch in the state of Georgia. I just needed to join him as Sr. Operations Officer to be instrumental in making it happen. The only downside, was that the max salary he could pay me was about 25% of what I was then earning at the time. Bobby was VERY convincing, and I took the job. He trusted me to take over a very senior position and create a software company under the bank’s holding company, despite me only being 28. I called that company Goldleaf, as an homage to Bobby’s farming operation. It became one of the largest software providers of electronic banking and payments for community banks.
These two Johns, two Bobs, and one Don, all were instrumental in shaping David Peterson into who he would ultimately become. It’s possible that I would have made a mark in some form or fashion, but I would not have accomplished what I did without these five amazing mentors.
How would you go about finding a mentor? There is no hard and fast formula for finding one, (or having them find you) but there are some rules that I believe would go a long way toward finding a valuable mentor. First, you need to be worthy of mentoring; you must be actively working on getting your act together. When I see someone who is not trying to advance their career, I won’t even consider being a mentor for them. I look for people who are working hard, hustling, and actively seeking new skills, new knowledge, and new opportunities. John Beck, Bob Chamberlain, and Bobby Wetherington, all saw something in me in that was worth investing their time in. I didn’t “ask” them to mentor me — it came about by me being in their presence and showing that I was worthy of their time.
If you feel that there is a person whom could be a mentor for you, then maybe you should ask them, but how you ask is the second rule. You shouldn’t go to someone and ask, “will you mentor me?” That might work, but if it does, it’s likely that the person won’t be a good mentor. You should first think of something you could offer that would benefit your potential mentor. By offering something to them first, it opens the door to a reciprocal, “what can I do for you?”
Lastly, remember to pay it forward. Once you’ve achieved some success and acquired some wisdom, pass it on. Find a younger version of yourself — someone who is eager and hungry, but in need of some wisdom, and offer to mentor them. This often occurs without the word “mentor” ever being spoken. You start by taking an interest, asking them questions, and collaborating in useful dialogue. Then they ask you for advice or seek you out when they face a vexing problem. It might last for a few months or years, or it could be a lifetime association. I am honored to have Lee Wetherington, (Bobby’s youngest son) call me his mentor. It’s the ultimate pay it forward: Bobby’s mentorship of me becomes my mentorship of Lee. Poetic and beautiful.
Winston Churchill said, “We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” Find a mentor and be a mentor. It is ultimately rewarding and benefits both parties immensely. Make your life rewarding by giving back.