I had a chance to meet the fascinating Jon Levy at the Destination Experience. He said, “I’m a behavior scientist. When I’m not consulting, doing research out of C Lab or speaking, I spend my life convincing strangers to cook me dinner and I travel around the world studying the science of adventure.” Sounds like an interesting guy, right?
He gave a talk at a DE luncheon. In his presentation, he discussed his work in creating a group called The Influencers. I was thrilled to see that he gave some tips on interacting with people, saying you should call someone a personal influencer if you want to connect. This aligns with my passion for how important it is to have and be a mentor. I find that most young people today do not see the value in a mentor relationship. And for those that do, they do not know the correct way to approach a mentor. Walking up to them and saying, “I am David Peterson and I would like you to mentor me,” is NOT a good strategy.
I have written and will write more about mentorships and how to get one, but here are some ideas that Jon gave:
1)
Be Generous – Givers are the most successful and they are the least successful. Surprised? The difference is focusing on cause or why. If you let people walk all over you while still giving your all, you will be sucked dry. But if you want to access an influencer or a mentor, you should approach them with the idea that you can offer them something. Can you facilitate an introduction, an idea for an article or blog entry, or do you have a unique skill that would be of use to them? Do your research and find out as much as you can about your potential mentor and see where your skills, talents, or knowledge aligns with them.
2) Trigger Novelty – According to Jon, our brain responds based on the level of novelty. A potential mentor may be meeting dozens or even hundreds of people each week. How will you stand out? You need to brainstorm how you might create a novel approach to meeting your potential mentor. Of course, tools like LinkedIn work, but I find that a personal, handwritten note, in an envelope with a stamp on it, is enough of a differentiator in our culture of email and SMS. Note: There is a fine line between novelty and crazy. If you show up to meet a mentor in a clown outfit, they will remember you, but probably not in the way you hoped.
3) Curation – This one requires work and forethought on your part. If you want to be mentorable, you should be surrounding yourself with diversity at your peer level. If you only hang out with people who look, act and think like you, you will not grow. You will not have any compelling and persuasive comments on issues to offer. By surrounding yourself with diverse people, you will inherently become more interesting to a potential mentor, and it’s possible that some of your peers could become a referral to a potential mentor.
4) Awe or Wonder – What is the most desired emotion? Love? Jon thinks it’s awe or wonder, if for no other reason than that these emotions rarely happen. If you are a parent, think about when you held your child for the first time. That is a special feeling, hard to describe (the part of our brains that understands those feelings is not in charge of speech…). This one is difficult, but you should think about how you could get some awe or wonder involved in your wooing of a mentor. Again, your research will be critical in helping you understand what areas of interest might be appropriate for a particular mentor you are targeting.
Jon has traveled all over the world and he wanted to create a group of Influencers. To get it started, he came up with an ingenious idea: he invited 12 influencers to his house for dinner. Here were the ground rules:
- The guest list was kept secret.
- Guests did not know one another beforehand.
- Guests were asked not to discuss their work or achievements.
- All attendees helped prepare a simple meal where no cooking experience was necessary.
- Once seated at the dinner table, all attendees took turns guessing the fellow guest’s professions.
- The expense of the meal was covered by the host.
So, this group was cooking a meal together, but could not discuss their last occupation or even their last name. They cooked and ate dinner together, and only at the end did everyone learn who they were cooking or scrubbing dishes with. Brilliant. Check this out at
http://www.jonlevytlb.com/influencers/.
What is stopping you from doing something similar? Yes, there would be expenses involved, but are you going to have everything handed to you, or are you going to invest in your future?
If you don’t have a mentor, work hard to get a good one. If you are not mentoring someone, be on the lookout for a good one. Don’t give up, give back.
David is an international speaker, executive coach, serial entrepreneur, and shipwreck survivor. He is the bestselling author of Grounded (Little River, 2016) . If you’re interested in David’s expertise in the areas of leadership, finance, and public speaking, please get in touch here.
