We jump to conclusions based on incomplete information and when we overreact, our words and actions can cause real harm.
I was ending a meeting in the Buckhead area of Atlanta and had a meeting up in Norcross, Northeast of Buckhead. Since I travel in this area frequently, I am relatively familiar with navigating the various idiosyncrasies of Atlanta roads (how many Peachtree Streets are there in Atlanta?). I accessed my trusted iPhone and dialed up directions; I headed towards 400 North.
As I was approaching the onramp, Siri told me to go to 400 South. What? That couldn’t be right. I had to make a split decision and followed Siri’s command (suggestion?) and got on the ramp for 400 South. Immediately, I could see that the traffic was backed up and moving at a crawl. As I looked across at 400 North, traffic was moving smoothly.
I literally shouted in my car, letting Siri know what I thought of her (its?) directional ability. I knew I should have been on 400 North but now there was no option to turn around, I had to follow 400 to get to I-85 until I could head back North.
While stuck in traffic, I looked at the timeframe I had to make my next meeting. I was going to have to contact my appointment and decide to push back the meeting. Exacerbating the situation was that this particular meeting had been rescheduled three previous times. After just a few minutes, the traffic lightened and soon I was on I-85 North moving at posted speeds.
As I approached the infamous intersection at I-285, known as Spaghetti Junction, I heard the local radio station giving a traffic report. Turns out there was a huge accident on 285 East and traffic was backed up past 400 on that part of the interstate.
I immediately realized that had I been on 400 North, I would have been caught up in that mess and would certainly have missed my appointment. Following Siri’s directions, I made it to the meeting on time.
Now, I am not saying that Siri is always right. There are obviously times where you get to an address only to find it’s nothing like the destination you were aiming for. But in the example above, I was quick to find fault with her because of what I KNEW to be true. There was more information that I did not have in my possession. My overreaction caused no harm, since Siri doesn’t care how rudely I speak to her, but this same principle occurs with real people. We jump to conclusions based on incomplete information and when we overreact, our words and actions can cause real harm.
Take stock of how you deal with these types of situations. If you react instead of respond, take special care to examine what precipitates those events and be on guard when similar characteristics are present.
Start taking proactive steps to avoid future overreactions. And if you have said or done something to offend, particularly when you determine that you made an assumption based on incomplete or inaccurate information, then give a sincere apology to that person. That means an apology without the addition of temporizing words like “but.”
“I’m really sorry, but you didn’t tell me you weren’t going to be at the event,” is not a true apology. When you add the “but,” you are saying, “I’m sort of sorry, but not really since it’s not my fault …”
Make your apologies genuine and focus on providing Grounded responses and not overreactions.
David is an international speaker, executive coach, serial entrepreneur, and shipwreck survivor. He is the bestselling author of Grounded (Little River, 2016) . If you’re interested in David’s expertise in the areas of leadership, finance, and public speaking, please get in touch here.