What does it mean to be Grounded In Thoughtful Response? Well, being thoughtful means that you are thinking about the problem and internally brainstorming potential solutions. It means that you are paying attention to other variables, like what is happening around you, non-verbal clues, and your past experiences and interactions with the person or situation. By pausing before you speak and taking time to think, you can consider a series of internal questions or options before responding. It may seem like that would take too much time, but your remarkable brain can quickly process what has been said, consider options, and recall memories. Then, you can assimilate all that information, along with external stimuli, in just a few seconds. This is not likely to occur, however, if you are talking.
Respond by crafting a reply that uses the above thinking process and implements a strategy that you believe will get the desired results. This tactic is quite different from a reaction. When you react, your actions and words generally come straight from an impulse or instinct, without much, or any, thought. Misunderstandings may occur if you say the first thing that pops into your head, because impulsive speech often does not reflect your true thoughts and feelings. Sometimes, though, those reactions might actually reflect your true feelings too accurately. Do you always want everyone to know what you are really thinking? I don’t. I believe that the best method is to thoughtfully consider what I am about to do or say, with full consideration for all the other external factors I can reasonably ascertain or observe.
I also want to carefully consider the outcome I am looking to achieve. If you ask a co- worker what color should be used for a web page border, and they say, “I don’t know,” you might say, “Fine. I’ll make it Reflex Blue.” Maybe they really didn’t care and are fine with your color choice. More likely, they didn’t know how to respond to your question and offered a standby reaction. If the co-worker’s actual opinion on the color is important, you might consider how to phrase your response to get the desired outcome (in this example, their color preference). You might say, “I was thinking of a medium blue, perhaps a Reflex Blue, but a medium green would also look nice. What do you think?” Now, you are offering your own preference, while still indicating that his or her opinion is important.
Learning to consistently give thoughtful responses is hard. Don’t think of it as something you have to get right 100% of the time. Hey, you’re human. You will make mistakes. Even so, strive to constantly improve your ability to thoughtfully respond, rather than react, to people and situations. As with anything else in life, the more you practice, the more proficient you will become at thoughtfully responding.