I think I can look at someone and tell something deep and insightful about them. Well, to be specific (and truthful!), I can look at the behavior of parents with a child and accurately predict whether the child is their first, second, or more than two (could be third or seventh, it doesn’t matter). Case in point, I was at a nice restaurant in Minneapolis, and sitting nearby was a nice couple with a baby that was probably older than six months but less than a year. There was no outward appearance this was an only child save there were no other children with this couple (hey they could have been at grandma’s…). Anyway, a plastic spoon that was in constant use in getting baby food into this future linebacker was snatched out of mom’s hand and managed to hit the floor in record time. The couple looked at each other with disdain and with no words spoken, Dad opened up the baby bag and extracted a new spoon. That baby was an only child, I guaranty it.
It is usually a pacifier not a spoon that is the key indicator. When the pacifier hits the restaurant floor and it’s a first child, that pacifier is placed in a hermetically sealed container and will not be placed back into the child’s mouth until it has spent at least an hour in an autoclave at five hundred degrees. If it is a second child, the pacifier will get washed with water (but could be juice or Gatorade) and perhaps cleaned off with a napkin (although Dad’s shirt is a perfectly suitable substitute …), but back into the mouth it will go. Third child (or more), it goes from the floor right back into the kids mouth without regard. Start paying attention and tell me I am not correct on this.
Why write about something so banal? I am convinced if we pay attention, we will be able to make the same prediction about activities from co-workers or employees. Say you are walking through the cube farm and Sue is absently staring at her computer screen without typing. Is she stuck and in need of direction or encouragement? Or is she in deep thought about to come up with something brilliant she will subsequently capture unless you speak to her, breaking her train of thought and banishing the brilliant idea to Neverland. As a software developer, I am always sensitive to how and when I was interrupting the technical staff. By observing, picking up on when we are wrong, learning when someone could use a word or verbal nudge, and when we should just shut up and walk past is a critical skill for supervisors and future leaders.
By the way, parents are not sloppy or disinterested with their third kid. They have just figured out children are nearly indestructible and they need not be so anal about what goes in their mouths. They are experienced and smart. So start paying attention to non-verbal queues and see if you can increase your mad skills in reading your employees and co-workers. Like most everything, you’ll get better with practice and experience. Remember, if you are reading the Grounded blog, you need to look busy and deeply engaged so they will leave you alone!